The awkward moment when you’re doing a strip tease to music on YouTube and your WiFi goes out.
Mae Martin is the best! :)
I watched porn for the first time tonight with my college friends. I did not like it. My vagina is scared.
I couldn’t figure out what to write for my English class, so I wrote this instead:
In the excerpt from The Reawakening, the narrator is fascinated by a nameless young man who is raised in the Concentration camp. I like jack rabbits. Please give me an A. I’ll show you my boobs after class. Sex. Sex. Sex. Yeah. Ooh. Baby. Boobs. Don’t erase my vagina. I love you and your sexy buttons. We’ve got to loosen those up, baby. Damn girl. I like dat ass. You look like Bruce Banner, you sexy motha fucka. I wanna be your sex slave. Anything that I desire. She wants to be the queen of your heart, but I’ll be the queen of your body parts. Sex. Sex. Sex. Yeah. That’s a song from Marina and the Diamonds. Please give me an A. College is really hard. I don’t think I’m cut out for this. I have a mental disorder. Please have pity. I have ADD. Also, I’m just generally weird and socially awkard. Like has been very hard for me. Have pity. Please give me an A. I will show you my boobs after class.